Hugh's News

New York Weddings

There's always been something special about weddings in and around New York City. Perhaps it's because Rosemary and I were married there almost 41 years ago. Perhaps it's because so many of our relatives have been married there, which adds an extra touch of emotion to these important events. Or maybe it's because New York has so many wedding reception halls and they've made these celebrations into somewhat of an art.

In the middle of all of our recent travels, we've had the honor to attend two fantastic family weddings there recently. Each event was unique, special and memorable.

First, we were at the wedding of Rosemary's niece Kristine and her new husband Bryan. On our way to the wedding, we stopped in the city to celebrate Jason's birthday with his Mom, Joanne,  and to see the musical "Ghost".

The wedding had a great mix of Irish and Italian traditions. A Mass (partly in Latin, which brought back memories of being an altar boy and seminarian before English was ever allowed in church) in St. Dominic's Chapel in scenic Oyster Bay, Long island. The service was followed by a reception that we'll never forget at the Watermill Inn in Smithtown. Kris' Mom and Dad walked her down the aisle, and we were so glad to be there with the entire Day clan, which doesn't seem to get together enough. Every reception has its own flavor and style, but this reception can just be described as "fun".  Probably the best band I've ever heard at a wedding reception. Lots of food choices from the cocktail hour through the dinner with five entree choices and then the Venetian Hour, with every kind of dessert imaginable, accompanying the wedding cake. More than a few libations were enjoyed by the crowd. The bride was in the middle of the action from the introduction through her change to another spectacular dress
 during the reception. What a terrific night!

Here are some photos of the wedding.

Less than two weeks later, we were back to New York, this time in Brooklyn for the all-Irish wedding of my nephew Brendan and his lovely Marybeth. This time, we were joined by our entire family for this special weekend. Brendan and Marybeth first hosted family and friends at the rehearsal dinner, where we enjoyed seeing the members of the Cahill and Shaw families, and meeting the Mahoney clan for the first time. Both the wedding and the reception were held at the scenic Brooklyn Botanic Gardens (adjoining Prospect Park, where I played baseball as teenager, and attended high school just blocks away). The forecast rain never appeared, and the gorgeous flowers provided a wonderful
background for the special wedding of these two wonderful people on a warm Friday evening. The service was made even more special because Ricky officiated at the service, with his nine month old son Henry, on his first big trip, watching in Mom Megan's arms. Erin and Shane looked on proudly as Nate, wearing his tuxedo, was the junior groomsman, and later the dance
champion during the reception. Rosemary and I were pleased that Lily spent the weekend traveling with us through the city, and Ryan and Jason were with us for this wedding, as they also were at Kris and Bryan's. While the previous wedding struck me as being "fun", the wedding of Marybeth and Brendan struck me as being "gorgeous" - the setting, the gowns, the moon-filled night, and of course, the bride. As they turned to their guests after the service, the word "triumphant" came to my mind. The look

 on their faces said that pulling off the wedding, with so many fine details to plan, was a triumph. Brendan's triumph over his life challenges made me so  proud of him. And meeting each other at just the right time in their lives, was the best triumph of all for this great couple. I was so pleased that Brendan included tributes to his grandfather, my Dad, and to his Uncle Charlie, Lily's late and great husband, and my brother. One note of sadness throughout the night was the recent passing of Marybeth's Dad. I know that Brendan's parents, Ann and Gene, were proud of their son on his big night.

As great as the rehearsal dinner and wedding were, we had a special bonus of having our whole family play tourist in Brooklyn and NYC for a few days. We got to eat cheesecake at famous Junior's Deli, go to the New York City Transit Museum, cruise around Manhattan on the Circle Line, enjoy Brooklyn pizza with Maureen, Don and family, and most importantly, spend scarce time together with our "Jazz Hands Family". In one final touch of hospitality, Brendan and Marybeth provided some great entertainment by arranging a fire in our hotel basement just before check out, requiring Erin, Shane, Nate, Megan, Ricky and Henry (held by Dad) to walk down 20 flights for the evacuation. The exciting end of a terrific weekend!

Here are some shots of that great wedding weekend.

But for both weddings, the key words were "LOVE" and "FAMILY". It was so great to be part of the weekends that were so special and important for these two couples, and to spend time with our extended families and our own family. All our best to Kris and Bryan, and to Marybeth and Brendan!

Political Cynic

I just spent the month of March writing blog entries about things that make me happy. But I must be honest and say that I had some pent-up peeves about things that frustrate me. One of them is the current state of the political process in our country. I wonder if others feel the same as I do, but I really dread the year of a Presidential election. Maybe it's just that the media is filled with stories about every move, and especially every misspoken word, of each candidate. Perhaps it's a daily reminder about how the U.S. political system is broken. Since my voter registration card lists me as "NP" (No Party), I feel that I'm allowed to be a non-partisan political cynic. I guess I have more questions than answers, but I always wonder how a Government guided by such a strong Constitution, with its system of checks and balances, can seem like a runaway train with its wheels coming off. I wonder:

Why do those in Congress show more allegiance to their party than to their country and to their local constituents? Whenever I read that "voting was along party lines", I ask if these officials have any ability to think on their own. I can't believe that the interests of citizens in Alabama can be exactly the same as those in Ohio, but why do their Republican Representatives in both states vote the same way most of the time? How can Democratic Senators in California and New Jersey routinely vote alike?

Why do political candidates in the same party bash each other during the primaries, and then pledge solid support for the eventual nominee?

Why does Congress pass laws that don't apply to themselves?

Once elected, do they have to start running for reelection on the first day in office?

Is there a new definition of "nanosecond"? It's now the time it takes for a trusted political advisor to make a dumb statement (e.g. about a certain non-working mother) to becoming an unknown person.

How can someone retire from Congress wealthier than when they were elected?

When does "fairness" and "playing by the same rules" start to sound a little like socialism? Isn't it the American dream to be competitive, work hard and become successful? When did that become a reason to be criticized?

When a candidate campaigns in the South, who cares if they like grits or not?

When did "honest politician" become an oxymoron?

Did you ever think that some candidates run for office knowing that they can't possiby win, but use their campaigns as auditions for jobs as CNN or Fox News commentators?

Does the media really believe that we care as much about the political issues they report on at length, or are they only justifying their jobs? I'm so thankful for TiVo, that allows us to speed through most political segments on the TV news.

How many people are wondering if they can be comfortable voting for either presidential candidate ths year?

If you live in Alabama, wouldn't you like to see at least one TV commercial for a person running to be a judge look a little different? The candidate having family dinner with children/grandchildren; hunting in the woods with the rifle safely held in his arm, and wearing new clothes clearly that have never seen mud and rain; calling him "conservative" at least five times and "fair" three times (almost always a "him", by the way); wearing judicial robes below his grey hair. Can't someone with a little imagination think of a different approach? What would Don Draper do? They could save a lot of money and time by doing five second spots that just say, "I put bad guys in jail."

Why is there so much mutual disrespect between parties? Why have debates on key issues become so mean-spirited and personal? What happened to rational discussions between people with common goals, but different methods to reach those goals?

What's happened to respect for the office of the President, regardless of who is in the White House at the time? Why does there have to be a rebuttal immediately after the State of the Union speech? (I suppose that has become necessary after the speeches became so politicized.)

is it better for Congress to be at a stalemate and unable to agree on anything? It seems that when they finally do pass bills, they're so watered down due to compromise and special interests, that they don't achieve what was originally intended. Perhaps inaction is better for the country.

Do you think that politicians laugh when they see themselves portrayed on the opening segment of Saturday Night Live?

In a time when anything can and will be researched in a minute, why do candidates and elected officials bend the truth, mislead us or spout poorly researched facts?

Why do people with questionable backgrounds bother to run for office? Do they really think that reporters won't dig up all the dirt on them?

Can someone tell our President that American citizens don't like to be lectured at and talked down to? (Sorry for the poor grammar.) Just talk to us honestly, without a Teleprompter, and we'll support you in tough situations.

Before anyone might think that I'm 100% cynical, I do have faith that we'll get through this mess, eventually.

I have too much confidence in the intelligence and patriotism of our citizens. We will get tired of this stuff, and will find enough good people to serve the country in leadership positions. It may take us a while, but we don't have much patience for incompetence and self-serving.

We still have a small core of dedicated elected officials with their heads and hearts in the right place, and I know that there are more qualified men and women who will join them, if asked.

Again, our Constitution is so strong that even our current politicians can't mess things up too much.

Meanwhile, I'll keep the TiVo working, and skip much of the foolishness. Please wake me when the election is over. I promise to write about happy things that I love in my next blog post!

Happiness Challenge: Days 28 - 31 (Grand Finale)

It's hard to believe that 31 days of happiness, joy and mirthful exuberance are coming to an end. Now the challenge is to avoid wallowing in a pit of April sadness. I don't think that this will happen, as all of the challenge participants are on a smiling roll now. Here are my final challenge-motivated reasons for happiness, but I'll remind myself that I don't have to be challenged to write something in order to be really happy.

28. I'm happy for today's technology. I'm in the last generation that grew up without computers. My kids may have started with the Commodore 64, but my grandkids could use a mouse before they could write. I used a slide rule in my college statistics class. I learned how to type on a clunker of a manual typewriter (as fast as two fingers would allow), and was thrilled to go to college with an electric Smith Corona. But I had to keep carbon copies (Yes. that's what "cc" stands for!) of all my reports. I hated white-out, so I re-typed  many lengthy assignments at 3 AM when I wasn't happy with my initial results. I went to the library to do research for my work, sometimes more than one to get enough references.  I know that this is hard to believe, but if we had a TV, we had to get up from our chair and turn the knobs on the set to change the channel or the volume! At least there were only three channels to choose from! I used paper maps to find my destinations. I pulled the car over to make calls on pay phones. How did I ever survive my early years?

But I am now so happy that we have the technology of today, almost all of it invented in the most recent 25% of my life. Shane calls me an "early adopter" and I do tend to buy the most recent toys that are available. Laptop, desktop, iPod, iPad, iPhone, Apple TV (thanks, Ryan!). I watched my early Yankee games on a black and white TV that required that I stand up holding the aluminum foil-wrapped rabbit ears in just the right direction so Dad could see a clear picture. Now I can tune in a game on my phone or tablet. Satellite TV and TiVo give me too many choices. XM radio makes the old car AM radio seem laughable.  I still enjoy sending a hand written note and some photo prints, but life wouldn't be as enjoyable if we didn't have immediate communication with friends and family via email, Facebook, cellphone calls, etc. Storing tens of thousands of photos digitally (even if we still keep albums for the best prints). The ability to correct a typed error on an iPad and reprint the page in five seconds, via wireless printer. The FaceTime call to see your new grandson rolling over for the first time or the video message of your other grandson dancing at a wedding miles away, five minutes ago. The Facebook photos to see your friends' fun in St. Thomas or Hong Kong or New York. The ease of ordering gifts online instead of driving to multiple stores. The ability to make travel arrangements sitting in front of your computer in your PJ's at your convenience. Reading newspapers from around the world, with just a click of a mouse.

Are there downsides of all of this technology? Sure, especially the anxiety that we can feel if we're not connected 24/7. The times we write something nasty in anger or frustration before "counting to ten", and wish that we hadn't been so fast on the "Send" button. The risk that everyone in the family can get lost in their own technology bubbles and forget to communicate with each other. But all of these are controllable with a little willpower, and the benefits outweigh the risks. I know that I gained productivity during my working years. But I'm positive that I'm closer to my family using the technological tools that are available today. I've reconnected with old friends online. I'm sure that my retirement is happier because I have so many new ways to use my time, that I couldn't have dreamed of 20 years ago. Now, if I could just figure out iCloud, my life would be perfect!

29. I'm happy that I have faith in God. And I'm pleased that I have enough judgement to know that faith is not the same as religion. A loving God could not approve of the things that the ___________ religion (fill in the blank)  is doing allegedly in His name. God has watched over my family, and I know that we are blessed for all that He has done for us.

30. As we near the conclusion of the Happiness Challenge, I'm happy that Amy Bickers thought of this great idea. Every day, the tough things in our life smack us in the face, occupy our thoughts and exhaust our energy. It's unfortunate that we need to be challenged to focus on the happy things around us, but this challenge from Amy has done it for me. It has also encouraged me to return to one of my most enjoyable activities - writing. For both of these, thank you, Amy!

31. If I haven't communicated it well in the previous 30 reasons I'm joyful, I'm happy for my wonderful family every day. What more could a person need?

Happiness Challenge: Days 23 - 27

Just a few diversions for the past few days, with a trip to Miami and then a visit with my dermatologist for some cutting and suturing. But I've been happy the whole time, and eager to get back to the 31 day Happiness Challenge. I am getting a bit concerned about being unhappy when April begins, but maybe I can keep these good feelings going when the blog entries close next week.

 23. I'm happy when I hear "I Love You", which is often in my family. I was blessed to grow up in a loving and caring family of good Anglo stock. But part of that heritage was that they believed (I finally figured out later) that you showed your love by caring for your family. Not by saying words but by doing things for them. Hugs were rare. So as we later had our own kids, we said "I Love You" often and gave hugs without reservation. We now speak with Erin, Ryan and Megan just about every day, and they always end their calls with those tender words. Nate often holds back such happy words just to taunt us, I feel. So when he said "I Love You" as a farewell on St. Patrick's Day, I was thrilled. Now I'm just waiting for Henry to speak those words, but it hasn't stopped Rosemary and me from telling him often whenever we see him.

24. I'm happy that Spring Training is almost over, and that the baseball season begins next week. After 14 years, my man-cave recliner is almost broken in, the refrigerator is stocked with Diet Coke and my MLB satellite TV subscription is prepaid. so I can see all 162 Yankee games this year, and about 1,728 other games if the Yanks are rained out. And as a sports appetizer, the NCAA Final Four is played this weekend. I consider that perhaps the most exciting sporting event, and the best game this weekend should be Kentucky vs. Louisville in the semis on Saturday.

25. Miami makes me happy. Cuban sandwiches; South Beach; Lincoln Avenue; memories of visits with the kids to visit Uncle Charlie; the warm weather, blue sky and tropical water; cruise ship departures; key lime pie; jai-alai; the zoo; dolphin shows; surviving the traffic; South Carolina vs. West Virginia in the Carquest Bowl with Erin; Cocowalk in Coconut Grove; dinners at 10 PM; visits with Lily; Monty's on the bay for conch fritters and crab claws; Miami Dolphin games; Charlie.

26. I'd be thrilled to be in perfect health, but since I'm not, I'm happy to have doctors I trust and respect.

27. I'm happy when I'm listening to music. Now that Steve Jobs has passed on, I can share a little secret. Apple invented the iPod for Hugh Shaw, and I'm glad to share that invention with 100 million or so of my best friends. I have music from Andrea Bocelli to Led Zeppelin on my iPod classic, iPod Nano, iPod Shuffle, iPhone and iPad. I've worked my way from 45 rpm records to transistor radios to eight tracks to audio cassettes to CD's, but the iPod has been the best thing ever invented for the music lover in me. XM Radio for long drives. Bose headphones for flights. I have 5,268 songs in my iTunes library, with Doo Wop/Fifties leading the way, followed by Sixties, Rock, Folk, Hard Rock, Broadway, Seventies, Irish and Country following.

Music fills the time on long trips, acts as a relaxant at times and a stimulant when needed on long trips. I can sing falsetto with Frankie Valli or bass with the Five Satins. I can be the Fifth Beatle or one of the Wilsons with the Beach Boys. Pavarotti asks me to sing duets with him. I'm back in the mud at Woodstock when I sing harmony with Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young and Shaw. Jimi Hendrix needs my air guitar to sound his best. I don't need to wear a mask when I'm the Phantom singing in the Opera. I hoist an imaginary pint when I sing Irish songs of rebellion with the Clancy Brothers. All of this, of course, when nobody is around me, since I can't sing a note in tune.

But more than just my great (?) singing, music brings back memories for me. Songs are the bookmarks of my life. I grew up in the Fifties in an integrated neighborhood in Queens, New York, where doo wop harmonies were sung on the street corners and school bathrooms (for the best echo). Here's a previous post on how I grew up with Doo Wop music. Elvis was at his best before going in the Army. Here are my recollections of Elvis on his 75th birthday.

I was a teenager in the turbulent Sixties that started quietly with the girl groups, then added the questioning songs of Dylan and other folk singers. I enjoyed the music of the century with the changing phases of The Beatles. I had some memories after we attended a Beatles tribute concert. During the decade, I progressed from a compliant seminarian to a protesting college senior during the Vietnam War, and ended the decade attending the best music event in history, Woodstock. I'll always remember that weekend in 1969.

The music of the Seventies accompanied me to married life, young adulthood, my working career, Erin's birth. Disco, Barry Manilow, The Bee Gees, Neil Diamond. Honestly, pretty bland stuff compared to the previous decade, but I can associate specific songs with major events in my life. In 1970, I asked Rosemary to marry me during a Johnny Mathis concert at the Waldorf Astoria. "The Twelfth of Never" will always remind me of our engagement that year, although it was released in the Fifties. I had met her only five months earlier, and we're still singing that song together 42 years later.

A few years ago, I sent a challenge to my friends to help me create a list of the top 100 songs that were impactful during the Boomer generation. Not necessarily the best songs, but the ones that most represented our lives during the post World War II era. Here's the final "Boomer 100" list we came up with.

Honestly, I don't think that there was any new music released in the Eighties. There was a rebirth of Doo Wop during that time, and I drove everywhere with audio cassettes in our station wagon playing Dion and the Belmonts, The Five Satins, The Moonglows, and Little Anthony and the Imperials. Ryan and Megan joined us in that decade, and they learned the lyrics to those old songs as if they were new. As Ronnie Milsap sang, I was "Lost in the Fifties". But MTV came along, and we had 24 hours of music videos at our house. Of course, i said "The music is too loud, and it's not as good as the music of MY time."

In the Nineties, I finally decided that I needed to broaden my musical interests, and found that I was becoming more influenced by the musical interests of Erin, Ryan and Megan. (Although I'm proud that they still know the lyrics of most of the Golden Oldies as well as I do.) Broadway music became a bigger part of our lives, as Ryan pursued his dream to perform on The Great White Way. As the kids grew in the eighties and nineties, I was also often the parent who took the kids and their friends to whatever rock concert was nearby. Michael Jackson, the B-52's, Lolapalooza, Janet Jackson, etc. etc. Although complaining about how loud the music was, as all parents do, I was learning that there really was some good music being recorded. Irish music crossed all decades for me, and to this day, I connect certain songs with my Dad, my brother Charlie and the Days.

In the 2000's, or oughts, or whatever we call that decade, Doo Wop continued as my foundation, but living in the Deep South, I finally added country music to my likes, although not the "twangy" songs. Allison Krauss is the modern version of Judy Collins for me, with the purest voice of any female singer. Ryan achieved his Broadway dream by performing in "Mamma Mia", so I finally learned that Abba was a terrific group. Living in Alabama, I realized that the group "Alabama" really had some great songs, and belatedly added them to my playlists. Lady Gaga, Alicia Keys, John Legend, The Black Eyed Peas and the late Amy Winehouse recently have brought new style and sounds that I like, and now I enjoy watching Nate sing and dance to their songs, while still also singing the Beatles and Elvis. He has a playlist of his favorites on my iPod, including "Jailhouse Rock", "Yellow Submarine" and "At the Hop". I can't wait to learn what music Henry will like. Heavy Metal?

Music can be a release. It can be a place to hide from my woes. It's something to share with others or listen to (and sing along with) in solitude. It brings back memories, some sorrowful, but most joyful. The invention of the iPod has put us in charge of our musical choices like no other instrument.

Songs are the bookmarks of my life.

Happiness Challenge: Day 22

22. Today, I'm especially happy that I had a brother named Charlie for the first 59 years of my life. Charlie was my protector and defender as I grew up. 5 1/2 years older than me, he made sure that the neighborhood tough guys stayed away from me.

He took me to my first Giants football game, in Yankee Stadium. He bought me my first beer, also at Yankee Stadium...when i was 15. He took me to Woodstock in 1969, and two weeks later on my first airplane flight, to Club Med. He was always good for a few bucks when I had none, which was most of the time. He straightened me out when I went astray, and was my biggest fan when I done good. He was always there when I needed him.

Charlie was brilliant, without making it look hard. He set an example for the grades I needed to get to keep my parents happy. Sister Mary Theresa: "Your brother always got better grades than this." As smart as he was, however, he never seemed to beat a four year old at Chutes and Ladders. He couldn't outsmart a teenager at Monopoly.

He was a Pied Piper with kids, both ours and many others he and Lily knew. He didn't miss an important family celebration. He brought a smile to our kids' faces whenever he came from Miami.

Charlie was an accomplished banker. He was a hard worker, putting in way too many hours to get the job done to his high expectations.

He was a quiet man, but when he talked, you listened. He didn't share his feelings a lot, but he didn't want to ever hurt your feelings. He never complained, even when his days were limited. Charlie was a jokester with a sly grin, a wry sense of humor and a quick laugh.

Charlie was a traveler, and toured the world with Lily. But the true child in him seemed to come out when he stayed pretty close to home, at Disney World.

He was a big New York Yankee fan and a football Giants fan. Some of my best memories were watching Yankee games on WPIX-11 in New York with him and my Dad on our old black and white TV. He later went to Tampa Bay Bucs' games with me in Tampa, proudly wearing his Giants' gear. The Bucs' fans gave him good-natured hell, and he gave it right back to them, although he was outnumbered by far.

He was named after our grandfather, the Glasagow Celtic goalkeeper "The Great Charlie Shaw" but in my mind, my brother was the Greatest.

But the best Charlie ever did was to be a good husband, bringing Lily into our family. My thoughts from three years ago, "A love story for the ages" are as true today, as they were on the day he passed away. I miss Charlie every day, but I am so happy that I had such a great brother.

Happiness Challenge: Days 19 - 21

19. I'm happy that I was able to work in a job I loved for 35 years - 33 years in mortgage banking management, followed by two years as consultant. I like to feel that I made a difference in some people's lives, but I know that many people made a difference in my life along the way. My college resume certainly didn't forecast a career in finance. In 1970, I graduated with a BS in Psychology, and only one financially-related course, in Economics. And the only reason for that subject was that it filled out my "A-B-C-D" course list that allowed me to go to school from 8:00 AM to Noon, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. There was nothing in my Myers Briggs personality type (INFJ) that could have predicted that I would end up managing nearly a thousand good people who originated almost $5 Billion in new home mortgages in my final year.

I was getting desperate to find SOME employment three weeks before our wedding date in 1970 and found myself applying in a savings and loan in Clearwater, Florida. The hiring executive told me that Vince Lombardi was his favorite football coach, and anyone who was good enough to go to the same school as Lombardi (Fordham University) was good enough to work for First Federal. In a bit of irony, 25 years, one merger, and one relocation later, I became a Birmingham neighbor of Lombardi's most accomplished player, Green Bay quarterback Bart Starr (shown here with Nate.)
 Oh, and I did take all those finance courses and even was certified to be a college finance professor. But I still feel that my best education in money and people was as a Queens, New York bartender.

Along the way, I hope I did business the right way, ignored the rules when they didn't make sense, learned from my many mistakes, fought with my managers more than a few times on behalf of my fellow employees, and helped my employer earn a fair profit. I was happiest when I dealt directly with the customers and helped them solve their problems. When I went home after many a long day, I would pose a simple test to see if I had a good day. Did I help someone buy a house? Did I help someone in distress stay in a house? If the answer was "Yes" to either question, I knew that I had a productive day. If not, I promised myself to get back on track the following day. Developing programs that got hundreds of deserving low and moderate income buyers into houses they could afford was the most gratifying part of my work.

But the greatest personal satisfaction for me was to make so many good friends, who are still close to me and Rosemary. Reen and Sue were there on my starting day at First Federal. Wanda, June, Bob C, Bob S, Steve, Chuck, Joel and so many others are still my friends, even thought I'm no longer the boss, or "The Big Kahuna" as I was called then. None of this, of course, would have been possible without Rosemary's support.

In my final few years, I spent more time with budgets than customers; more with corporate bureaucracy than with my employees; more with compliance than new mortgage programs. It was time to go, and so now.....

20. ....I'm thrilled to be retired. My Dad and brother didn't live long enough to enjoy their retirement, and my goal was to retire on the first day when I was eligible, which I did on my 55th birthday.

Eight years out of the banking world, followed by a two year transition as a consultant, getting back in touch with the basics of the business, working with some interesting people all across the country, working on my own schedule for two friends. Mary Bruce and Dan, who had helped me along my career path. I did prove the axiom, "It's better to be lucky than smart", since I was out of the mortgage business before it crashed all around us.

People ask how I enjoy being retired, I just say, "I never wake up wondering what to do that day. I have things that I put on my to-do list in 2004 that I still haven't accomplished." Family, including two grandsons; travel; reading; Yankee games; volunteer work; photography; chores, and oh yes, those pesky doctor appointments fill up a retiree's hours. Plus an occasional guilt-free afternoon nap, or a weekday movie matinee. I honestly couldn't imagine working. And I have so much more to accomplish....

When people ask my advice on retirement, I keep it simple:  Save, Save, Save. Have a transition plan that includes some form of work so that you don't stop your brainwaves "cold turkey" on retirement date. Respect that your spouse had a schedule before you retired, and don't mess with it. And if at all possible, have a basement with a man-cave, to preserve retirement marital bliss.

One of the benefits of retirement is...

21. To gain the satisfaction of doing volunteer work for non-profit organizations. Yes, I volunteered when I was working, but never consistently and never with full attention. Retirement has allowed me to stay connected with my profession by working for several national non-profit groups that provide financing for low/moderate income and minority homeowners. I've done the "boring stuff" like strategic planning, organizational development, budgeting, audit and loan committee management. Boring to some, but enjoyable for me, and necessary for the organizations. I'm playing more of the "senior advisor" role now, but it keeps my brain active and helps continue some good long time friendships.

And most satisfying to me is that everyone in our family has volunteered their time and skills to organizations from those who help deaf kids, to supporting Gay rights, to helping Hospice patients and to rocking premature babies, and so many more worthwhile community efforts. I'm so proud of them!

Happiness Challenge: Seriously Delinquent, But Unapologetic! (#14 - 18)

I'm way behind on posts that exhibit my high degree of happiness, but I'm not the least bit sorry. I've spent much of the week with our younger grandson, Henry, in Jackson, MS. I ended the week on the highest level of enthusiastic joy, with the mult-state happiness of being with both grandsons on the same day, and that day was a holiday second only to Christmas in our family - St. Patrick's Day. So all of this inclusive good spirit equals Happiness reasons # 14 through # 18.

I already stated in reason # 4 that my grandsons are some of my greatest sources of joy, but I'm an eligible, Social Security receiving, graying and hair thinning senior citizen who has legitimate reasons to be forgetful and repeat himself. So this past week with Henry was joyful for me. It doesn't take much for me. Henry's smiles are wonderful, and ongoing. He even smiles when I'm changing his stinky diaper.We were glad to be with Megan and Ricky for Henry's eight month celebration and Penny Lane's fourth birthday. The simplest things, like Henry falling asleep on my chest, blot out anything negative in my life.

But how could anything top Saturday, when we started with a celebration of St. Patrick's Day with Henry and his Mom and Dad; then drove four hours with Irish tunes of love, humor and rebellion playing on my iPod; and finally the corned beef and cabbage with Erin, Shane and elder grandson Nate?

Rosemary, the Grand Mistress of all Holidays, keeps St. Patty's Day alive for us, and as important as ever. Our cousin Lorraine from Ireland reminds us of our irish heritage throughtout the year. This blog entry from last year explains some reasons why this day means so much to me.

Nate made this St. Patrick's Day card for us. With help from Erin only to draw the rainbow, Nate used his literary style and just a little cousin envy to write, "Happy St. Patrick's Day, Grandma and Grandpa. I hope you had a good time in Jackson, but you can have a better time in Hoover with me. Love, Nate." And to top off the day, when I said my usual "I love you Nate" farewell, which usually is met with no response, Nate said, "I love you, too, Grandpa". Wow, pure Nirvana for me!

Well, Nate, nothing can give me a better time than to see both you and Henry on the same day, perhaps other than having Uncle Ryan with all of us. 

Erin, Ryan and Megan. You didn't think we were Italian, did you?

Happiness Challenge: Days 12 and 13

12. It's great to live in a country where we can vote for those we believe will be great leaders, and vote out those who are in politics for their own gain. Primaries in Alabama and Mississippi on Tuesday, when Northerners suddenly enjoy eating grits.

 

1. I'm happy to be in Jackson. Mississippi on Henry's eight month birthday!

Happiness Challenge: Days 10 and 11

10. On a Saturday afternoon, or almost any time, there's nothing like going to the movies to make me happy. Even one we saw yesterday, Tyler Perry's "Good Deeds" (Yawn!!!!!) is worth it to spend time out with Rosemary. For each dud like that, there's bound to be a movie like "The Help" or "The Artist" that will stick in your mind for a lifetime. And despite the exorbitant prices for admission and snacks, it's so much better to go to a movie than watch it on a Netflix DVD, streaming through Apple TV, on DirectTV, or on an iPad.  Why? The phone doesn't ring (well, usually not too often), you can't pause it to finish chores and it's difficult to be distracted by surfing the web or reading a newspaper. You feel as if you've done something together when you have to drive to the theater and climb up to your seats.

Things have changed since i went to the movies for the first time, in 1956. A quarter for a cowboy and science fiction double feature. Maybe Elvis and Godzilla on the same bill. A dime for candy! No credit cards accepted. Smokers to the balcony, please. But it's still a happy experience today.

Our family usually finishes off holiday visits with a trip to the movie theater, followed by a heated discussion by all of us movie critics. We rarely agree on any film, but somehow we seem a little closer after sitting together in the same row watching 20 minutes of trailers and two hours of sometimes-great cinema.

One of my happiest moments in the past few years was going to the box office and asking for "One senior and one child, please," as Nate started his journey through such artistic triumphs as "Toy Story 3", "Madagascar 2" and "The Lorax." Here's Nate with Uncle Ryan watching a very loud 3-D movie. And there's always time to stop at the photo booth in the lobby, for a little silliness. One kids popcorn combo, please!

11. After a few hours packing and a four hour drive to Jackson MS today (during which one of us did manage to stay awake on the first day of Daylight Savings Time). we arrived to be greeted by a big smile from Henry. No matter how grumpy and tired I may be (what me, grumpy??), Henry's smiles brighten my day and make me happy. Almost eight months old, our Grandson is the happiest baby I've ever seen. Yes, I'm biased, but ask anyone who has met him!

Happiness Challenge: Days 8 and 9.

8. Happiness is a McRib from McDonald's. I'm not sure if I like them that much, or the anticipation of waiting for McDonald's to offer them for a limited times makes them seem more enticing. Just don't ever read the ingredients or nutritional value!

9. I love to take photos and share prints with family and friends. This is another trait I inherited from Dad, although he was born way too long before the digital age. I recall that many of his photos were blurry, because he had Mom take them through the car's side window, as he drove his mandatory 500 miles on the first day of vacation. "This would have been a great photo of Niagara Falls, if we only had time to stop." I was his light person when he added an 8mm movie camera to his arsenal, at least until I put the huge light bar down on the dining room table and burned the tablecloth. Dad entered the modern age when he bought a Polaroid camera, but we never saw a picture again. He would take photos of everyone at the family gatherings, and then give them the new-fangled instant pictures.

I'm a beneficiary of digital photography, as I practice the "Quantity over quality" approach. My approach is to have a good camera, set it on "AUTO" and click-click-click. In the time it takes a good photographer to change the settings to take one shot, I've snapped about 50, and at least one of them is going to be just as good as the skilled shooter's work. Erin once gave me a gift of lessons from a professional photographer. She carried in three huge cases of lenses, filters, books and assorted equipment. I think that our lessons went downhill when she said, "You don't own a tripod????" ( I do now, and it came in handy for Megan and Ricky to position a baby monitor over Henry's crib.) I said that I'm the kind of person who struggles to walk and chew gum at the same time, and changing three camera settings and positioning the sun at the correct angle was going to be an obstacle for me. So I listened patiently, learned a few good tips about lighting and subject positioning, and then applied Super Glue to the camera's auto setting when she left. I buy flash drives by the dozen to transfer photos. I own a bunch of external drives to have sufficient backup, starting at 250G. moving to 500G and now a 1T drive. (Although I'm shamed to admit that I don't know what a "T" is.) Why? Because deleting a digital photo is a mortal sin just short of the grievous crime of writing in a book, or even worse, throwing out a book, that was drilled into me in Catholic school.

As much as I enjoy taking photos, I love sharing them with others, just like Dad. Blog photo albums; digital photo frames; email attachments; MobileMe galleries (soon to disappear; Apple, I hate you!); Facebook posts and albums, etc. But nothing gives me as much satisfaction as visiting the Costco photo department, choosing the best 700 photos from a recent trip, ordering four copies of each, and then sending them to family and friends. Sharing hard copy prints is a disappearing courtesy, in the same category as writing personal notes. It's hard to believe that some people are not yet participating in the social media world, but it's a feeling of great satisfaction for me when I receive a hand-written note that says, "Thanks for sending the photos to me. It's the only way my grandmother would have seen photos of the baby." I do recognize that there are certain shortcomings of keeping photo prints. One is that it creates guilt and anxiety for the person who feels terrible that they haven't yet organized the hundreds of photos gathering dust on the dining room table. Another disadvantage is that the photo albums tend to fill up every available shelf in the house. But I'm happy spreading the joy...and guilt. And I'm pleased that Erin, Ryan and Megan share in my enjoyment of this hobby. The first two tend to "shoot" iPhone photos as their contribution to the art. Megan has joined the DSLR world, and has already taken some shots of Henry worth saving for a lifetime. If you run into me somewhere, don't be surprised if I'm holding a DSLR, a point and shoot camera, a Flip video camera and an iPhone camera. How many prints of that shot would you like?